A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together
I am homesick for a place that doesn’t exist anymore.
My problem was that no one ever needed me as much as I needed them.
Biology’s cruel joke goes something like this: As a teenage body goes through puberty, its circadian rhythm essentially shifts three hours backward. Suddenly, going to bed at nine or ten o’clock at night isn’t just a drag, but close to a biological impossibility. Studies of teenagers around the globe have found that adolescent brains do not start releasing melatonin until around eleven o’clock at night and keep pumping out the hormone well past sunrise. Adults, meanwhile, have little-to-no melatonin in their bodies when they wake up. With all that melatonin surging through their bloodstream, teenagers who are forced to be awake before eight in the morning are often barely alert and want nothing more than to give in to their body’s demands and fall back asleep. Because of the shift in their circadian rhythm, asking a teenager to perform well in a classroom during the early morning is like asking him or her to fly across the country and instantly adjust to the new time zone — and then do the same thing every night, for four years.
Listen, if you’re going to leave, that’s fine. and I know you promised you wouldn’t seven months ago while I was crying into your neck but I also know that sometimes it rains even when it’s not supposed to and sometimes boys kiss girls they shouldn’t and we tear flowers out of the ground just to watch them die and things change, so I understand if you’re done, but please, when you’re packing all your old sweaters and books, don’t forget to take all your three AM phone calls, and photographs where we’re smiling so wide it looks like we’ve never known that feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone screams “I don’t love you anymore.” Take back every kiss, every night you fell asleep next to me, every poem I wrote you, every song you sang to me, every “I love you more fight,” every shock I felt in my skin when you brushed against me. I was never scared of ghosts until you left but now I see you everywhere and god if you’re going to kill me please just do it quickly because I see you in everything and it’s making it hard to breathe